Cactus Codex

Pony blogger, actual cactus, artist, writer, computer scientist, and linguist. New Jersey / Pennsylvania | 21 | male, he/him/his | asexual hispanic | Cereus repandus, or Peruvian apple cactus

mini-scootaloo:

askenderkid:

ask-the-mobs:

emmathesnowgolem:

askendershade:

askbodacea:

ask-chris-and-sparks:

askaubreeorgabby:

kittenlover963:

py-bun:

slenderman-is-watching-you:

asktesseract:

ask-thepastaguy:

ask-devil-america:

ask-vanya:

ask2p-hungary:

ask-deaf-america:

((…Avery, put that down! Wait no, no! Put down that knife! Where did you get that anyway?! GODDAMMIT PUT IT DOWN I DON’T HEAL LIKE NATIONS!!))

((I’d be fucked. He’s stronger than me. It’s good that he’s not trying to…. Right?))

….Sure.

((QAQ!!))

((OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT LSJFLKASJDFASDJFKLDSJALKGJKFLGJHAFDGKLJDLHGJKLDNFJKLRSCXV,MNGKERHSDJGOHSGDAHGOLKJSDGLJASLKGJASDGJLKSDAJFLKASDJAJSJLKJFLKSADJFLKASDFDSAKJLSDFJASDJKLAFSDJKLDSAF

WHO IN GODS NAME GAVE HUNGARY A FUCKING SWORD!?!?!? OH RIGHT ME. ALKJFLASJDGLKJASDJGSA AHHHHH!))

((…oh. This is… really bad :|a Really, really bad.))

((nopenopenopenopenopenope Alfie, I still love you, u love me? Oh hey look a hitler’s mustache ahaha *nervouslaughs*))

[Not very, considering Feli is scared of killing people. Even if he was trying to kill me, I don’t think he’d succeed. :I]

((-instant death- FUCKING COSMIC POWERS.))

((slendy and his son…hey guys,if i dont come online by twelve in the morning call chuck norris please))

HOWLY SHAT. I’M GUNNA BE BARBECUED

(My first thought of character is Kitten, so I’ll use her~)

((A: Kitten… Kitten… W-What are you doing?))

[Kitten]: You really shouldn’t have of made me corrupted..

((A: Now Kitten, you don’t have to do this, you know… We can work this out, okay?))

[Kitten]: Oh, I think it’s too late for that…

((A: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-))

(Yup, I’d say I’m screwed… \: )

((well, if it was only aubree i’d be fine hAHA

but now that there’s gabby„,

oh damn„,

image))

Artist: I think I’d be evenly matched against Chris… WAIT, THERE’S STILL SPARKS. 

Sparks: *offensive mode activate*

image

Artist: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, NOPE! Alt + F4!

[If Bo waas trying to kill me, I’d be dead.

If Xander was trying ti kill me, I’d be in the Nether. being eaten alive by a Ghast.  While being smashed in the face with a brroken glass bottle.

Theoretically speaking.]

Zack: Um…. Shade…. im dead… Renard…. deader than dead…. Daemos…. dead dead…..Nova…. not so much…. Roxie….. dead….. carri.. fuuuuuu- dead x.x

[T.A]- Emma…meh not that bad but Ethen ….NOPE

((Every minecraft mob… well I’m dead)) 

((Enderkid. Stop. You aren’t scary at all. Don’t try to bite my arm. Srsly. just stop. No.))

(( ponies that are only a few INCHES tall. I win, I think i’ll keep ‘em as a pet~!))

Well, fuck. I’m dead.

Sweetie Belle would tie me up and light me on fire. Scootaloo would straight up murder me. Rumble would zap me until I turn into a McDonald’s meal. Apple Bloom would lock me in a cellar for days without food and water. I think I’d win against Dinky if I showed her a cucumber muffin.

But still. A hungry crispy critter stuck between two buns. Help me.

(via starvingdream)

I draw faster on a desk.

Back home! Shit todo:

  • NSFWednesdays: “Fingers” (a Lyra and Bonbon comic)
  • Diaries: UPDATES!
  • Post Crusade: In Sickness and In Pain 2 (Malpractice)

askscootahipster:

askfallingrain:

ask-shinycrystal:

ask-malik-derp:

ask-star-fable:

ask—clockwork:

ask-mspinkamena-and-co:

ask-glowy:

lauphing-bronie:

Launch a million dollar enterprise with Cranky Doodle Donkey

be buried alive with Spike *dead* -_-

Forced to kill Bloomburg. o 3 o I dun wanna kill anything or anybody.

Travel through time to anywhere with Princess Cadence… Im cool with it ^_^

Almost all birthday scenarios involve me with Derpy. Im fine with that.

Malik: ONE NIGHT STAND WITH QUEEN CHRYSALIS

save the world with granny smith?????? looks like i’ll do the work

Be forced to kill Big Macintosh? I’m ok with this.

Be forced to kill BonBon?! D: (deleting this later)

Embark on an incredible journey to the very corners of the universe with Scootaloo?

Fuck yeah.

(Source: wubzywubbles)

hi-scootaloo:

How did I get my cutie mark? Will I ever be able to fly? Am I ever going to find my special somepony? What happens to Crusaders when we all get our cutie marks? What’s the answers on next weeks test? What are the answers to our final exam? Are Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom going to be in my classes next year? What about the year after? Am I ever going to get those flying lessons from Dash? What will Dash and me be after all that time? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!!! ;;;A;;;

Scoot: Well, my present could be very different from you future. But what the hay? I’ll answer them!

  1. You broke a land speed record, but that’s just one part of it.
  2. Not really. I’m crippled and can’t fly for very long. :’(
  3. YES!!!!! Uh… I mean… it’s possible.
  4. For your sake, I’m not answering that.
  5. Which one, the math test or that science pop quiz?
  6. Yes.
  7. No.
  8. Nope. She left for the Wonderbolts before she had the chance. You taught yourself.
  9. Again, you probably don’t want the answer to that.

Sorry, that’s the best I can do. Now if you excuse me, I’m supposed to be in surgery.

(via pinkiedotgif-deactivated2016011)

The closest I’ve ever gotten to a colored animation.

Made with panels from my newest comic that isn’t PC nor Diaries.

Well, I’m a Peruvian-Mexican lawyer robot who killed himself and is now alive in a Canadian’s toilet. I’m fine.
Me in a Skype chat. (The greatest thing I’ve ever said.)

Analytics

I use Google Analytics to monitor stats on Post Crusade. It’s the same system used by Equestria Daily. Here are some facts I learned from the data in the past 4 months.

  • Post Crusade has had over 52,000 pageviews as of today, meaning people have clicked and view a page on the blog 52,000 times.
  • 66% of viewers are from the USA (#1). 5.89% are from the UK (#2), 5.40% are from Germany (#3), and 4.48% are from Canada (#4).
  • 41% use Chrome. 37% use Firefox. 11% use IE.
  • The average visitor spends 4:03 minutes on the site.

And now for some odd thoughts.

  • 240 visits have been made from the Clarksville, TN area. Who are you?
  • Same goes to guy from around Freiburg Im Breisgau, Germany. >_>
  • People visited 25 times from a Playstation 3 and 6 times from a Wii.
  • A lot of you are smart cookies and turned off Google search tracking.
  • PC was searched using Bing only 10 times.
  • Post Crusade has been misspelled as “post crucade” 10 times.
  • Someone, or something visited PC by searching “dell psa crashes -fixya -news -"star wars” -“public service announcement” -“free download” -ringtones -youtube -“drug psas” -accident".
  • 30% of all visitors were brought here via my DeviantArt page.
  • 90 visits were made from Reddit. 31 from Facebook.
  • 454 visits were made from an iPad.