I feel like my indifference towards video games is becoming steadily more detrimental.
I knew that it already was to start with because it was the primary factor in me not socializing with other people online and trying to make friends. Like, when they start discussing Pokemon or Animal Crossing or anything else, I just kinda fade into the background and listen in, trying to make sense of it all. Of course, when the discussion goes back to pony, I jump back in because that’s all I have going for me. It’s literally preventing me from making new friends.
Which I guess isn’t too bad, considering that I already have my own group of best buddies.
But now I’m seeing that not knowing much about games is forcing me to distance myself from people I’m already friends with. Because again, it’s a limiter. I obviously can’t stick to pony all the time, but at the time being it’s the only thing I can do. So I just don’t say anything. I fade into the background again.
And I’m suddenly intimidated and afraid to talk to them. Like I’m meeting them for the first time over and over again and it makes me an anxious wreck.
And the solution is so simple! I could just buy a fucking 3DS, get some games, and get into them. Immerse myself for the first time in my life. But then I ask, what if I can’t? I’ve never fully focused on an any video game in the span of 18 years, how can that possibly change now?
What if I’m doomed to lose everyone I know and love all because I’m becoming stagnated, annoying, and obsolete?