Birthday plushy drawing for @postcrusade-mod. With reading glasses and familiar accessories.
Decks Dark, for sure. When that choir comes on…
* 2 *
It’s been 12 hours and I’m still listening to A Moon Shaped Pool.
So yeah, I guess you can say that I love this album it’s absolutely perfect.
*floats into the upper atmosphere*
I’M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
New icon because I’m excited for things.
So the school year is finally ending. Meaning that I can finally stop being all mopey and shit and start returning to form.
I really
really
want to get into the habit of weekly blog posts.
And I’m gonna try my best to establish a schedule starting in May through July. Mainly for Post Crusade since that more or less needs more attention.
Also planning to open commissions and also making commission streams and the likes.
Oh, and Diaries is going to soft-reboot again. I haven’t updated that blog because I’ve been locked in a linear story that I’ve lost interest in. Third time’s the charm, right? Sometime by the end of May, I’ll be returning to Diaries with something nice and new.
So yeah. Stuff will be happening. Weh.
Hello everybody :v
I redact my statement about desiring to talk to people from my past.
I never want to see them ever again.
post-crusade-rainbow-dash.jpg
I’m a professional writer and comedian.
I fell asleep right at midnight and woke up at 4 AM. This is what happens; this is why I stay up to 3.
Anyways I am either going to try to doze again or just suck it up, get up, and draw shit.
Oh I get it. Its because politicians are lizard people! Topical!
A Sort of Endgame
I feel like I’ve broken too many ties. Like I’m running out of options. Or rather just feeling nostalgic about the times when I was bombarded by a bunch of new people.
Is it my fault that I just don’t seem to talk to anyone anymore? Yeah, probably.
Do I want to talk to new people? Yeah, definitely. But I’m still reserved. What if I mess up a fourth time? Sean, Chris, Boulder, and then who’s next? Who will I lose this time?
Who will I offend? Who will I push away? Who will I never talk to because we’re so different?
That anon message from a while back. The one about questioning whether they should still be friends with me. I still think about it everyday. Who could it be? Is it one of the three? Is it someone I still know?…
That message is the realization of my greatest fear. The main driver of my paranoia. People hate me. Everyone hates me. This community is blacklisting me. I just exist to waste space or suck the life out of everyone. I ruin everything I touch. I’ll never be happy. And I’ll never be in touch with friends for the rest of my life.
I’m so tired of having this dictate my life. I’m tired of pretending that I’m happy with this status quo. I’m tired of being ignored and being so shy and being so reserved. I hate that stupid message. I want to change.
So I might as well start by just acknowledging everything that’s wrong with me. Confront the demons and all that jazz.
One day I’ll be as strong as I want to be. Comfortable in my own skin. Surrounded by people I love. The fears and depression all but a distant memory. My time on this site ending with fanfare, with a future to look forward to.
Maybe that’s why I’m still so engaged with FiM. Why I must insist keeping PC going. It keeps me going, too.
So while today I feel like shit over bad memories, blocked contacts, and general mopiness, hopefully one day it’ll all be past me.
